Children need attention, it’s their emotional food. They are pretty much skilled in the ways to get it. Every parent knows that quite well. Sometimes it can even lead to frustrating feelings when your child constantly recourses to attention seeking behavior. This attention seeking behavior may be the result of not giving enough attention to your child.
Children Need Attention – A lots Of It!
Every child has its “attention box”. Some children have small attention box, some have medium-sized and there are those who have big or even huge, gigantic one. This attention box can be filled with two types of attention – positive and negative.
A positive attention is provided by the parents. The negative is made by the child. To keep a child happy, satisfied and calm, parents need to follow one simple rule:
“Always keep the ‘attention box’ of a child full with positive attention!”
Not keeping it full with positive attention invites troubles. Children need attention and they always seek attention, any kind of attention. If they can’t get it from the parents in a volunteering way, they will get it in a negative way, through the negative attention.
Negative attention happens when a child tries to push buttons of his parents through negative behaviour. He will use every opportune moment in a most embarrassing ways, just to get some attention. For a child any kind of attention is good attention, even the negative one, because to a kid, a negative attention is better that no attention at all.
The child will rather make everyone stare at the helpless parents because of his attention seeking act, than get no attention at all. If repeated often enough, it may be tiring to the parents, because a child is constantly drawing attention at them.
It’s Not The Child’s Fault
When a child exhibits the behaviour that draws negative attention, the parents should not be concerned for the child. It’s not the child’s fault that he seeks attention, but the lack of voluntarily offered positive attention by the parents. The parents should take their time to have some direct association with their children. It doesn’t require to spend ten hours a day at the child’s sight. Ten minutes daily will do wonders.
Parents who keep the “attention box” of their children full with positive attention, make sure that there are no distractions. They mute a phone and dedicate to do something their children want to do. They understand that children need attention, so they let the control off and follow the child in his playful creativity. Such parents are willing to invest in the child development process that will help a better relationship with their children.
Playing for ten minutes a day (once or twice) will reap immense rewards in their children’s behavior and child teaching. The main rule is to let them pick the play, choose the favourite book and so on. Also, it should be done with each child separately, so that the child knows a parent is there just for him.
Child development and teaching has much to do with guiding a child behavior in the proper direction. When the children’s attention box is filled in a positive and proactive way, they become more cooperative and less likely to seek out attention in negative ways. They trust and love their parents more and they learn more. Above all, they feel valuable, unique and irreplaceable.
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